I know how Bonds work. I have three of them, and sex isn’t an element in any.
[Yet; this is a technicality.]
You’re welcome to any of them that would have you. It would have killed me a long time ago if I couldn’t weather what they did with others. It’ll kill you, if you don’t start at home and make your expectations clear to Alex.
You're close to her by merit of Bonding with her. Neither of us are gentlemen, but if you punish her for her kindness toward me, you might actually be a monster.
[And this isn't about Alex right now, is it? No. L is an asshole, as he's always been. Some distant part of Mello wishes he were still a child so he could be too emotionally immature to truly understand.]
So we were.
[Yeah, he gets that.]
And I scared you, then?
[To be fair, Mello has always existed to instill fear and obedience. But with L? He refuses to believe that was the case.]
[No. He's never had a desire to hurt L, so far as he can remember. This trespass, too, shall be forgiven. Because L is all things, even if Mello is clinging to a childish idealization.]
You think I would hurt you again, even if I did the first time.
The time I spent physically engaged with Alex has as much to do with these "potential problems" as the croissant I ate this morning. I pursue my own tastes, interests, and relationships independent of your approval or rage.
[Acute pain; no anger. Whatever L speaks about regarding Mello's past here, he doesn't remember. Mello always thought he was favored, with the way L spoke to him of secrets and stories when he was an impressionable child subject to acute manipulation. Tears almost sting his eyes, but he won't let them.]
[It's a few minutes before he responds. Maybe L notices; maybe L doesn't care about anything at all.]
I thought I loved and idolized you, once.
[He was almost too young for him to remember, now that he's older and has been through too much.]
Why are you attempting to make me hate you now? Are you getting something from it?
You wanted the encounter to be because of you, or in spite of you, because then at least it would involve you. Do I have that, correctly? Is the greatest offense really that the concepts didn't connect?
I'll put in a good word the next time I see her, but you should know that the longer you wait to man up and salvage your Bond with her, the chances only increase of someone convincing her of her true value.
[Mello doesn't need advice on how to deal with his bonded. And love is a tainted, lost concept to him. He ignores the unwarranted comment as much as it stabs him in his gut. He doesn't need anyone fucking loving him when he's dealing with so much.]
[Acute memories of L being off on a case. Mello wanting to see him. Roger: Not yet. He has a very important case. Neglect. L's never had a desire to see him anyway.]
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If you want her, you can have her.
[Lying thing that Mello is.]
She's just a girl.
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If she was "just a girl", I don't think there'd be such a to-do over an affectionate evening spent in mutual enjoyment between consenting adults.
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I won't go any further than that except to assume that you're still out to fuck with me.
I admired you, once. Now I know you're just an asshole, yea. She can do what she wants. I don't own anyone, either.
[Text]
[Yet; this is a technicality.]
You’re welcome to any of them that would have you. It would have killed me a long time ago if I couldn’t weather what they did with others. It’ll kill you, if you don’t start at home and make your expectations clear to Alex.
[Text]
We see things differently.
I don't get close to people, and I won't. If you want her, you can have her.
[Text]
You're close to her by merit of Bonding with her. Neither of us are gentlemen, but if you punish her for her kindness toward me, you might actually be a monster.
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Leave her be.
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You think she's afraid of me?
I'm speaking to you, right now. Not her.
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I am not the threat to your Bond with her.
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So we were.
[Yeah, he gets that.]
And I scared you, then?
[To be fair, Mello has always existed to instill fear and obedience. But with L? He refuses to believe that was the case.]
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You think I would hurt you again, even if I did the first time.
[The idea is ludicrous.]
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I don't think you can help it. It's like something written.
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I thought you were a creature of logic, L.
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Correlation, not causation.
[Your move.]
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[It's a few minutes before he responds. Maybe L notices; maybe L doesn't care about anything at all.]
I thought I loved and idolized you, once.
[He was almost too young for him to remember, now that he's older and has been through too much.]
Why are you attempting to make me hate you now? Are you getting something from it?
[Text]
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Fuck off, L.
[Impulsive. But the pain of L dismissing him far surpasses the offense.]
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[As threatening as it sounds, Mello doesn't mean for it to come off that way.]
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[He didn't say no. As much as it's written that Mello will want to hurt L, maybe it's written that L's drawn to his side of it just as much.]
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I want to see you.
[Intentional repetition.]
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[Not never.
Not wise.]
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When?
[Childish, as always.]
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