The time I spent physically engaged with Alex has as much to do with these "potential problems" as the croissant I ate this morning. I pursue my own tastes, interests, and relationships independent of your approval or rage.
[Acute pain; no anger. Whatever L speaks about regarding Mello's past here, he doesn't remember. Mello always thought he was favored, with the way L spoke to him of secrets and stories when he was an impressionable child subject to acute manipulation. Tears almost sting his eyes, but he won't let them.]
[It's a few minutes before he responds. Maybe L notices; maybe L doesn't care about anything at all.]
I thought I loved and idolized you, once.
[He was almost too young for him to remember, now that he's older and has been through too much.]
Why are you attempting to make me hate you now? Are you getting something from it?
You wanted the encounter to be because of you, or in spite of you, because then at least it would involve you. Do I have that, correctly? Is the greatest offense really that the concepts didn't connect?
I'll put in a good word the next time I see her, but you should know that the longer you wait to man up and salvage your Bond with her, the chances only increase of someone convincing her of her true value.
[Mello doesn't need advice on how to deal with his bonded. And love is a tainted, lost concept to him. He ignores the unwarranted comment as much as it stabs him in his gut. He doesn't need anyone fucking loving him when he's dealing with so much.]
[Acute memories of L being off on a case. Mello wanting to see him. Roger: Not yet. He has a very important case. Neglect. L's never had a desire to see him anyway.]
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I thought you were a creature of logic, L.
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Correlation, not causation.
[Your move.]
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[It's a few minutes before he responds. Maybe L notices; maybe L doesn't care about anything at all.]
I thought I loved and idolized you, once.
[He was almost too young for him to remember, now that he's older and has been through too much.]
Why are you attempting to make me hate you now? Are you getting something from it?
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Fuck off, L.
[Impulsive. But the pain of L dismissing him far surpasses the offense.]
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[As threatening as it sounds, Mello doesn't mean for it to come off that way.]
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[He didn't say no. As much as it's written that Mello will want to hurt L, maybe it's written that L's drawn to his side of it just as much.]
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I want to see you.
[Intentional repetition.]
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[Not never.
Not wise.]
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When?
[Childish, as always.]
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[L’s crime was taking too much. His other crime was setting concrete, attainable terms for this.]
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I want to see you now, L.
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[He gave a sliver. He can take it back.]
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[A childish hope combined with a hardened adult's stubborn nature.]
I want to see you. No harm. What else do you want me to say.
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