[ His question takes her by surprise for different reasons. One being that his concern would be about her first, the second that he would think she was in danger at all. She quickly waves her hands in front of her defensively. ]
It’s nothing like that! I’m fine, really. I don’t feel like I’m not safe around him...
[ She’s...aware that he’s capable of a lot. Things stated and insinuated. But she’s never felt it directed towards her. ]
We actually bonded recently. He needed another. And well...what happened between you two seems to still bother him a lot, and I can feel it.
[ An indescribable storm of emotions. ]
He..mentioned there was something he wanted to try to maybe try and resolve it, or at least get past it. He said it might help you both...I’m think it will too. I hope it will. But um...is that something you might want to try...?
[L nods; he'd thought it was only a matter of time before they Bonded, given how close they were, the nature of their relationship, the speed with which they'd established physical intimacy.]
Quite a lot about me bothers him, I think.
[A remote and ramshackle shelter, from that storm, is the distance in L's eyes.]
[ She stops with him, her brow creasing in concern. The words he used gripped at her chest, like small cuts that stung nonetheless. Was this how he felt? How he saw M?
Reaching out, she takes hold of his sleeve between her fingers, but she doesn’t pull. ]
It’s...not like that.
[ Thought it might not be believable coming from an outsider. ]
It’s also meant for you...It bothers you too, doesn’t it?
[He's careful not to move, suddenly or softly, when she grasps his sleeve. Consciously, he's perfectly still, the breeze that moves his clothes and hair the only sign of motion from the detective.]
As long as I keep what bothers me private... nothing at all bothers me. He doesn't understand that it's a way to live.
You say that like there’s something for me to be afraid of...
[ But Alex had never felt that way with Linden, still didn’t. She felt the same with M, but...there was an intensity she was finding that they both had. ]
I’ll be there too. For both of you.
[ In case...she’s not sure. But M wanted her there, and she also wanted to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. ]
I know it’s...asking for a lot. But he doesn’t want to keep going this way...and I don’t think you do too.
[And he means that. He wouldn't hurt her; he doesn't consider it a slight for her to live, sleep, and Bond with Mello.
He glances sharply back over his shoulder at her pledge, because it seems... ambitious.]
I fully expect you to take the side of your Bonded, should it come to that... but I also expect that you wouldn't let him take this opportunity to kill me. I understand that correctly, yes?
[ She wants to say she won’t take sides, but that probably wouldn’t sound believable anyway. Alex hadn’t even been brave enough to think about a situation where she’d have to pick a side. ]
He won’t—- and I wouldn’t let him do that.
[ Her grip tightens a little, not sure how to express herself with the right words. ]
I get it, he’s my bonded, but...I care about you too. He told me he wants to make amends, and I felt it. I wouldn’t agree to something that would hurt you.
[ Her eyes snap up immediately, a reflex to being given a command. Alex hadn’t experienced Linden like this before, and it unsettles her, a gaze colder than the ocean breeze. But she meant everything she said, and if he needed her to look him in the the eye for that to come through, nervous as she might be, she would. ]
I won’t let anything happen to M, and I won’t let anything happen to you. If it goes past trying to fix things...I’ll stop it.
[He stares at her, frigid steel and lifeless stone, boring into her, looking for some lie.
She's honest, and so he sees nothing but the truth. He rubs at an eye with the heel of his hand, staring down at the shallow, weedy waters lapping at the cement beneath them.]
Tell him to bring alcohol... it doesn't matter what kind. And pills, or potions... they do. Anything poppy-derived should work for our purposes. Three days from now... I'll get us a room at a brothel.
[He tucks his hands into his pockets.]
It's a favor, to my favorite student. Mello as well.
[ He pulls away, but he agreed. That was him agreeing wasn’t it? The drugs seemed a bit extreme, and in a brothel of all places? But she figures he knows what he’s doing...
She mentally notes the to do list he has for M, thinking it was all a message he wanted passed on. It surprised her that he’d even throw a compliment in, what with the current situation—-
Mello as well
It hits her then, that he wasn’t referring to his former student. It catches her off guard, flustering her for a moment. Maybe one day she’ll get used to this kind of praise, but she can’t deny that little giddy feeling she gets when receives some. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Well, going at this head on might be best. She fidgets with her fingers as they walk, trying to pick how to start it off. ]
It’s...about M. I know things aren’t that great between you two right now, so if this...is uncomfortable with you I’d understand.
[ She glances up at him then, checking to see if she has permission to continue. ]
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It's not uncomfortable. You still feel safe, with him?
[It's his first thought.]
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It’s nothing like that! I’m fine, really. I don’t feel like I’m not safe around him...
[ She’s...aware that he’s capable of a lot. Things stated and insinuated. But she’s never felt it directed towards her. ]
We actually bonded recently. He needed another. And well...what happened between you two seems to still bother him a lot, and I can feel it.
[ An indescribable storm of emotions. ]
He..mentioned there was something he wanted to try to maybe try and resolve it, or at least get past it. He said it might help you both...I’m think it will too. I hope it will. But um...is that something you might want to try...?
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Quite a lot about me bothers him, I think.
[A remote and ramshackle shelter, from that storm, is the distance in L's eyes.]
What does he want to take from me, then? What...
[Now his steps do stop.]
What did he send you to ask me for?
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Reaching out, she takes hold of his sleeve between her fingers, but she doesn’t pull. ]
It’s...not like that.
[ Thought it might not be believable coming from an outsider. ]
It’s also meant for you...It bothers you too, doesn’t it?
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As long as I keep what bothers me private... nothing at all bothers me. He doesn't understand that it's a way to live.
[Survive. Idiot child, who knows nothing.]
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I don’t...think it’ll work that way. Unless both of you talk it out, it’s not going to go away...
And...it might come out anyway.
He wants to do it through dream sharing.
[ Linden was one of the smartest people she knew. He probably could predict the rest of what this entails. ]
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No wonder he sent you, to ask. He might know your bravery better than you do, yourself.
[The audacity to ask... the audacity to dare.]
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[ But Alex had never felt that way with Linden, still didn’t. She felt the same with M, but...there was an intensity she was finding that they both had. ]
I’ll be there too. For both of you.
[ In case...she’s not sure. But M wanted her there, and she also wanted to make sure things went as smoothly as possible. ]
I know it’s...asking for a lot. But he doesn’t want to keep going this way...and I don’t think you do too.
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[And he means that. He wouldn't hurt her; he doesn't consider it a slight for her to live, sleep, and Bond with Mello.
He glances sharply back over his shoulder at her pledge, because it seems... ambitious.]
I fully expect you to take the side of your Bonded, should it come to that... but I also expect that you wouldn't let him take this opportunity to kill me. I understand that correctly, yes?
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He won’t—- and I wouldn’t let him do that.
[ Her grip tightens a little, not sure how to express herself with the right words. ]
I get it, he’s my bonded, but...I care about you too. He told me he wants to make amends, and I felt it. I wouldn’t agree to something that would hurt you.
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He turns.]
Look at me.
[Those cold, dark, cynical eyes wait for hers to meet them.]
Say it again, and look at me.
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I won’t let anything happen to M, and I won’t let anything happen to you. If it goes past trying to fix things...I’ll stop it.
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She's honest, and so he sees nothing but the truth. He rubs at an eye with the heel of his hand, staring down at the shallow, weedy waters lapping at the cement beneath them.]
Tell him to bring alcohol... it doesn't matter what kind. And pills, or potions... they do. Anything poppy-derived should work for our purposes. Three days from now... I'll get us a room at a brothel.
[He tucks his hands into his pockets.]
It's a favor, to my favorite student. Mello as well.
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She mentally notes the to do list he has for M, thinking it was all a message he wanted passed on. It surprised her that he’d even throw a compliment in, what with the current situation—-
Mello as well
It hits her then, that he wasn’t referring to his former student. It catches her off guard, flustering her for a moment. Maybe one day she’ll get used to this kind of praise, but she can’t deny that little giddy feeling she gets when receives some. ]
Thank you, Linden.
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He owes you.
[Said softly, more to the waves than to Alex directly.]
Don't let him forget it.