"Could work" I'll take, to not have another night like last night.
[There's a tangible lightening in Myr's mood at hearing L think through and accept what he's offered. It isn't a total balm to the pain weighing heavy on his heart--that will take time, and rebuilding shattered trust--but it is a much-needed palliative.
It would be different. But different is certainly what they need now, having seen the disastrous ends this path could lead them to.]
You can ill-afford any more of them, amatus.
[And now, now his fear and worry (and love, above all love) can be let to seep through; the horror of the near-miss they'd had and awful realization L truly was trapped in exactly the pattern Myr had warned Niles against. (For all the good it did.)
He lingers on it (lets it linger in the Bond) for only a handful of moments, shivering once in reaction, before steadying himself with a long breath out. Exhaustion has crept back in, too; his heart's been dragged over rocks and drugged sleep at a kitchen table is hardly the kind of refreshment one needed after that kind of shock.
But there is so much more to do now, now that they've set their feet once more on a better path. Getting up and acting on them...is harder, at this juncture.]
I've a visit to pay to Connor next, I think, [he says, half to L and half to himself.] And Azura. And you need something to drink, as much as you can stomach.
[It's telling on his state when he starts voicing the first thing to drift through the Bond.]
[Easier said than done, when it resulted from a long-held habit after L presumably weighed the risks and benefits and accepted them... but fortunately, the memory and misery of almost bleeding out are fresh in L's mind, like the flavor of a specific type of liquor on the morning of a brutal hangover. It makes it far easier to pledge cooperation with the sincere intention to follow through, though he realizes Myr's trust in him is bound to be broken for quite some time. Whether or not he had to lie is still something he is sorting through, but he can resolve; he can set, again, down a better path with his steadfast Bonded at his side. Myr knows where he's likely to falter, after all, where his control and judgment seem to slip, and it's better that he knows even if it seems a shameful thing to admit to.
Metal fingers clink against the glass pitcher's handle, and he pours himself a glass of water. He doesn't remember the healers' visit clearly, having been drugged already when they arrived and well into a state of shock before he was given another potion to gentle him into compelled sleep. He knows they would have replenished some of his lost blood, but actually keeping up with aftercare is a responsibility that falls to him. He needs to rehydrate, and stay on top of it so that Myr is assured that at least in this way, he's able to care for himself.
They're Bonded, so... that goes both ways, doesn't it, even if it comes more naturally to one of them?]
It can wait a few more hours, Myr. Those potions aren't like true sleep... which you need. If you require some sort of guarantee that I won't do something reckless while you're resting, you have my permission to tie me to the bedpost until you wake up.
[It is a long path--and the wrong time to contemplate the length of it, and all the very many stops they must make along the way, is when Myr is exhausted. Even so, he's a moment from protesting L's insistence that he sleep--it's right there, in the Bond and on the tip of his tongue--before he gives a sighing laugh and relents.
Not without some humor, though:]
Tie you up while I'm sleeping? That's a shameful waste; I'd far rather be awake for that.
[Half-meant, half-teasing, but entirely fond, though he's tired enough (and their Bond so precious a thing to him) that it's more a shell of a faun's fabled lust than the thing itself.
Still...
He picks himself up out of his chair at that thought, collecting the last of the bread to deliver to the wormipede that comes padding into the kitchen.]
But you're right, [he picks up, after a moment,] that all can wait; and I would sleep easier with you there.
[Tacit invitation to share the bed they have so many times before. That much at least has not changed for all the bruises to Myr's trust.]
[It startles laughter from L; the fact that it sounds so strange and unpracticed is the surest sign that it's real. He knows that Myr has no shortage of partners who are to his taste and able to keep up with the rigorous carnal demands of a faun. He knows that Myr cares deeply for him, even loves him, but... the role of beloved and lover don't always go hand-in-hand, and L, as a rule, doesn't permit himself to desire what he doesn't feel is a realistic goal.]
I'll... keep it in mind for the future, when wakefulness is a resource we can both afford.
[Who knows when that could be? It's still a fond notion, something to consider at least a distant, pleasant possibility instead of one absolutely ruled out by Myr simply not viewing him that way.
He reaches a hand down, keeping the clockwork fingers open and at ease in case the wormipede wants to nuzzle into a palm that is still flesh after it's claimed the prize of bread from Myr's.]
I won't go anywhere, as long as you do sleep. You don't seem to really need things very often but... when you do, it's very obvious.
[Myr meets his Bonded laugh for laugh, though his own's a quieter thing and more wistful. When wakefulness is a resource we can both afford embeds a painful truth about their Bond and how far they'd come to their own limits. Easier to feel optimistic about that now, after a relative triumph; but how they will inhabit it upon waking when so many problems yet remain...
Leave it for tomorrow. Likewise the comment on his own needs--expressed in L's utterly direct manner, it cuts right to the bone of Myr's cultivated and half-believed illusions about himself. The faun's tired enough, though, that it merely twinges sinking in, lodging near his heart for later rumination.
He lifts a hand to acknowledge the hit and concedes the field:] True enough, and I'd best get to it or I'll end up asleep Maker-knows-where again.
[That's his call to make his way to the bedroom, now that he's stowed the jam and butter. He starts that way, trailing a feeling behind them through their Bond like the fond touch of a hand through hair.
Crookytail, meanwhile, drops the slice of bread it's enthusiastically masticating to press its crummy face into L's hand. Antennae wreathe and wave around the detective's arm; you are still here, still the same size, still herd. All's well.
How nearly it might not have been is nothing a wormipede need concern itself with.]
[They're things, at least, that they won't need to deal with upon waking. L will spend more time recuperating once his body, tethered and soothed by the Bond, recognizes its own need, and he's likely to sleep long after Myr rises and departs to confront difficult conversations with other people.
For now, though, a velvet-soft worm is nuzzling into his palm, and then he's standing to follow something equally welcoming in spite of the distance of lingering dishonesty. The idea that Myr still thinks he can do better is inspiring, more nourishing to the soul than anything he's done by himself in the last months to feel that he and Niles might this time pull even.
He's inclined to feel it, even believe it, in terms as simple and trusting as the wormipede. He takes that spirit with him to bed, curling onto his side and resting a cheek against Myr's shoulder after he's removed and set aside his prosthetics.]
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[There's a tangible lightening in Myr's mood at hearing L think through and accept what he's offered. It isn't a total balm to the pain weighing heavy on his heart--that will take time, and rebuilding shattered trust--but it is a much-needed palliative.
It would be different. But different is certainly what they need now, having seen the disastrous ends this path could lead them to.]
You can ill-afford any more of them, amatus.
[And now, now his fear and worry (and love, above all love) can be let to seep through; the horror of the near-miss they'd had and awful realization L truly was trapped in exactly the pattern Myr had warned Niles against. (For all the good it did.)
He lingers on it (lets it linger in the Bond) for only a handful of moments, shivering once in reaction, before steadying himself with a long breath out. Exhaustion has crept back in, too; his heart's been dragged over rocks and drugged sleep at a kitchen table is hardly the kind of refreshment one needed after that kind of shock.
But there is so much more to do now, now that they've set their feet once more on a better path. Getting up and acting on them...is harder, at this juncture.]
I've a visit to pay to Connor next, I think, [he says, half to L and half to himself.] And Azura. And you need something to drink, as much as you can stomach.
[It's telling on his state when he starts voicing the first thing to drift through the Bond.]
no subject
[Easier said than done, when it resulted from a long-held habit after L presumably weighed the risks and benefits and accepted them... but fortunately, the memory and misery of almost bleeding out are fresh in L's mind, like the flavor of a specific type of liquor on the morning of a brutal hangover. It makes it far easier to pledge cooperation with the sincere intention to follow through, though he realizes Myr's trust in him is bound to be broken for quite some time. Whether or not he had to lie is still something he is sorting through, but he can resolve; he can set, again, down a better path with his steadfast Bonded at his side. Myr knows where he's likely to falter, after all, where his control and judgment seem to slip, and it's better that he knows even if it seems a shameful thing to admit to.
Metal fingers clink against the glass pitcher's handle, and he pours himself a glass of water. He doesn't remember the healers' visit clearly, having been drugged already when they arrived and well into a state of shock before he was given another potion to gentle him into compelled sleep. He knows they would have replenished some of his lost blood, but actually keeping up with aftercare is a responsibility that falls to him. He needs to rehydrate, and stay on top of it so that Myr is assured that at least in this way, he's able to care for himself.
They're Bonded, so... that goes both ways, doesn't it, even if it comes more naturally to one of them?]
It can wait a few more hours, Myr. Those potions aren't like true sleep... which you need. If you require some sort of guarantee that I won't do something reckless while you're resting, you have my permission to tie me to the bedpost until you wake up.
no subject
Not without some humor, though:]
Tie you up while I'm sleeping? That's a shameful waste; I'd far rather be awake for that.
[Half-meant, half-teasing, but entirely fond, though he's tired enough (and their Bond so precious a thing to him) that it's more a shell of a faun's fabled lust than the thing itself.
Still...
He picks himself up out of his chair at that thought, collecting the last of the bread to deliver to the wormipede that comes padding into the kitchen.]
But you're right, [he picks up, after a moment,] that all can wait; and I would sleep easier with you there.
[Tacit invitation to share the bed they have so many times before. That much at least has not changed for all the bruises to Myr's trust.]
no subject
I'll... keep it in mind for the future, when wakefulness is a resource we can both afford.
[Who knows when that could be? It's still a fond notion, something to consider at least a distant, pleasant possibility instead of one absolutely ruled out by Myr simply not viewing him that way.
He reaches a hand down, keeping the clockwork fingers open and at ease in case the wormipede wants to nuzzle into a palm that is still flesh after it's claimed the prize of bread from Myr's.]
I won't go anywhere, as long as you do sleep. You don't seem to really need things very often but... when you do, it's very obvious.
no subject
Leave it for tomorrow. Likewise the comment on his own needs--expressed in L's utterly direct manner, it cuts right to the bone of Myr's cultivated and half-believed illusions about himself. The faun's tired enough, though, that it merely twinges sinking in, lodging near his heart for later rumination.
He lifts a hand to acknowledge the hit and concedes the field:] True enough, and I'd best get to it or I'll end up asleep Maker-knows-where again.
[That's his call to make his way to the bedroom, now that he's stowed the jam and butter. He starts that way, trailing a feeling behind them through their Bond like the fond touch of a hand through hair.
Crookytail, meanwhile, drops the slice of bread it's enthusiastically masticating to press its crummy face into L's hand. Antennae wreathe and wave around the detective's arm; you are still here, still the same size, still herd. All's well.
How nearly it might not have been is nothing a wormipede need concern itself with.]
no subject
For now, though, a velvet-soft worm is nuzzling into his palm, and then he's standing to follow something equally welcoming in spite of the distance of lingering dishonesty. The idea that Myr still thinks he can do better is inspiring, more nourishing to the soul than anything he's done by himself in the last months to feel that he and Niles might this time pull even.
He's inclined to feel it, even believe it, in terms as simple and trusting as the wormipede. He takes that spirit with him to bed, curling onto his side and resting a cheek against Myr's shoulder after he's removed and set aside his prosthetics.]