[By his standards, it's admittedly not as sweet as he prefers... but his standards are frankly ridiculous. No shopkeep or apothecary would be able to create something with a sugar concentration that agreed with him wholly and was better than nothing at all for his health. He knows this, as much as he hates it, which is probably why he keeps drinking.
He glances toward the partly-finished runes, seeming to debate just how much he wants to say.]
There are people here who want to hurt the SQUIP. More every day, it seems. I have a vested interest in preventing that from happening, and... well. You do, too, right?
[L bites his lip. Again, he's debating on how much he wants to say about this, even to Connor, whose sincerity isn't something he doubts or distrusts. It's just that he's taken on a burden that's been sapping his energy, and if that could be alleviated in any way...]
My talent as a witch, I've been told, is exceptional. But what I'm attempting still stretches beyond my current abilities. I'm using blood to compensate, but I don't have enough.
[He reaches up to twist a strand of his hair in his fingers.]
I've blacked out a few times and I can feel my heart skipping beats. It's worth it, of course, but... if there was any way I could get just a few more pints, it would lessen the toll significantly.
[For blood magic at all, really. What is Connor's blood? L doesn't think he's ever actually learned as much, but then again, he's not in the habit of viewing allies as potential blood bags. It's the same reason he doesn't like to use the SQUIP's blood, if not as emotionally motivated.]
There are ways to get it... I've gone through the same kinds of channels vampires do, but not being a vampire, there's only so far I feel I can take advantage of them.
[The charity drive at the bar being one of the more shameful examples.]
It can be purchased. I've turned that that recently.
[He looks back at L after studying the runes. He doesn't understand them... he could replicate them perfectly if asked, but he doesn't think they'd work. He's not a Witch.]
[Not having limitless amounts of money is something L is still getting used to. Back in the day, he could build a skyscraper on a whim. Now he's using grocery money to purchase blood for magic, and the going rate is more than groceries usually cost.]
Within the next few days. I would consider it a personal favor.
[Because he can only bleed so much for the SQUIP, even if he takes it further than most humans would.]
[Promptness will go a long way toward earning L's gratitude. Discretion will go a long way toward earning his trust, which is admittedly far more difficult to secure.]
Two witches who have entered into a Bond are very powerful together, yes. But they're unstable, as well. Every day is a struggle to keep it from ending catastrophically, at least for me.
[Connor does have the rest of today and all night to look, so he's not too worried.]
You need to get a Monster Bond, Linden.
[He looks him over sternly.]
I'd offer, but... I have the maximum number of Bonds, now.
[It was part of why he Bonded with the SQUIP, though. It hadn't had a Monster Bond until Connor Bonded with it. He'd been afraid of something going awry.]
[L shakes his head restlessly, even though he agrees with Connor. He does need a monster Bond and that's been clear for awhile. Unavoidably so.]
I won't Bond with just anyone. I don't want to invite more people to come into our home and let them get closer to us when things are so volatile. These runes are meant to keep people out, and to keep us safe from the danger that keeps trying to find us.
[He sets his jaw, his eyes hard and cold.]
I expect that all the time. Even from the people I like. One Bond is enough to worry about.
[The answer to that is... complicated. More than it should be. L tugs at the hair on the nape of his neck as though disciplining it.]
It would tell me to stop. But this is a case where I can see the bigger picture, and it is perhaps shortsighted. No one else is going to go this far for it.
[And maybe there's a kind of masochistic, competitive pride there.]
[Connor doesn't feel the need to compete for the SQUIP's approval. He wants to help it, of course... but he has other people to think about, too. He supposes L doesn't.]
Nobody can question your loyalty.
[Which is admirable in its own way, but Connor does think L is taking this a bit too far. He looks around again before gesturing to the last mouthful left in the potion.]
[L is silent; he really doesn't have others to think about. Not many, and not significantly. All pale when the SQUIP is held up in comparison, through no fault of their own. It's in his nature to be fiercely dedicated, obsessive, committed, even when it taxes his time and relationships and health.
He nods, taking another drink, grateful, wondering if "loyalty" actually is the right word. It seems both too generous and to come up short; he isn't certain why he's reluctant to accept it when by all accounts, it's a good thing to be.]
[Connor wouldn't understand not accepting it, either. It's a compliment... though maybe this is more akin to a sick devotion than loyalty, he thinks, as he looks at the cuts littering L's arms. He's going to kill himself for the SQUIP at this rate.]
Good.
[He nods in approval as L finishes the potion.]
That should help give you some of your strength back, provided you stop slicing yourself open to drain yourself of it.
[Yeah... that's going to keep happening, isn't it?]
[L himself knows something he's unwilling to admit, that's written fairly plainly on his skin and on his face. It's extremely human, pitifully human, though he'd find a way to sink through the floor rather than admit it. He's supposed to be above such matters. All of his struggles and toils are supposed to let him ascend to the level that was the SQUIP and Connor's birthright by merit of never having been technically born.]
With an alternative, I won't have to.
[But any proposed alternative couldn't possibly be infinite, and therein lies the problem. There's no way supply can rival his obsessive ambition.]
[With L's ambitions and devotion to methods that work, it's likely that his need will only increase. If his projects get smaller, they'll just grow more numerous.]
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no subject
[By his standards, it's admittedly not as sweet as he prefers... but his standards are frankly ridiculous. No shopkeep or apothecary would be able to create something with a sugar concentration that agreed with him wholly and was better than nothing at all for his health. He knows this, as much as he hates it, which is probably why he keeps drinking.
He glances toward the partly-finished runes, seeming to debate just how much he wants to say.]
There are people here who want to hurt the SQUIP. More every day, it seems. I have a vested interest in preventing that from happening, and... well. You do, too, right?
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[He suddenly looks very serious.]
I would be... very upset if something happened to it.
[And probably feel immensely guilty for not being able to protect it. Because when you love someone, you should protect them, right?]
Is there any way I can help?
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My talent as a witch, I've been told, is exceptional. But what I'm attempting still stretches beyond my current abilities. I'm using blood to compensate, but I don't have enough.
[He reaches up to twist a strand of his hair in his fingers.]
I've blacked out a few times and I can feel my heart skipping beats. It's worth it, of course, but... if there was any way I could get just a few more pints, it would lessen the toll significantly.
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[He thinks on it, looking around at the runes and then at L.]
My blood wouldn't work. It's not blood, after all. So... I'd have to acquire it some other way.
[Can you buy blood?]
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[For blood magic at all, really. What is Connor's blood? L doesn't think he's ever actually learned as much, but then again, he's not in the habit of viewing allies as potential blood bags. It's the same reason he doesn't like to use the SQUIP's blood, if not as emotionally motivated.]
There are ways to get it... I've gone through the same kinds of channels vampires do, but not being a vampire, there's only so far I feel I can take advantage of them.
[The charity drive at the bar being one of the more shameful examples.]
It can be purchased. I've turned that that recently.
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I suppose I'm purchasing blood, then.
[He looks back at L after studying the runes. He doesn't understand them... he could replicate them perfectly if asked, but he doesn't think they'd work. He's not a Witch.]
When do you need it?
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Within the next few days. I would consider it a personal favor.
[Because he can only bleed so much for the SQUIP, even if he takes it further than most humans would.]
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[He can afford a few pints, he's sure. If it's to protect the SQUIP...]
Don't drain any more from yourself. You're not going to be of any use to the SQUIP if you're blacked out somewhere if someone attacks it, right?
[Just letting L know that people worry about him doesn't seem to be enough, so he's changed tactics.]
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Not that he would ask any questions, with the importance of his ends taken into account.]
I'm not much use at my strongest, conscious, either.
[Not entirely true. L's in fact very intelligent for a human, but... also on the brittler side, and certainly self-destructive.]
I know what I can do that is most useful to it, and I intend to.
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You're a Witch. You have magic.
[He's sure L must be brushing up on some offensive spells too, right?]
Two Witches would be more difficult to beat than one, right?
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Two witches who have entered into a Bond are very powerful together, yes. But they're unstable, as well. Every day is a struggle to keep it from ending catastrophically, at least for me.
[He has no monster Bond.]
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You need to get a Monster Bond, Linden.
[He looks him over sternly.]
I'd offer, but... I have the maximum number of Bonds, now.
[It was part of why he Bonded with the SQUIP, though. It hadn't had a Monster Bond until Connor Bonded with it. He'd been afraid of something going awry.]
no subject
I won't Bond with just anyone. I don't want to invite more people to come into our home and let them get closer to us when things are so volatile. These runes are meant to keep people out, and to keep us safe from the danger that keeps trying to find us.
[He sets his jaw, his eyes hard and cold.]
I expect that all the time. Even from the people I like. One Bond is enough to worry about.
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[Still... he can see there's no arguing with that look.]
I'll trust you know what you're doing.
[He says it softly, in contrast with L's hard glare.]
Does the SQUIP know you're doing this?
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It would tell me to stop. But this is a case where I can see the bigger picture, and it is perhaps shortsighted. No one else is going to go this far for it.
[And maybe there's a kind of masochistic, competitive pride there.]
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Nobody can question your loyalty.
[Which is admirable in its own way, but Connor does think L is taking this a bit too far. He looks around again before gesturing to the last mouthful left in the potion.]
Finish that. You need every drop of it.
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He nods, taking another drink, grateful, wondering if "loyalty" actually is the right word. It seems both too generous and to come up short; he isn't certain why he's reluctant to accept it when by all accounts, it's a good thing to be.]
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Good.
[He nods in approval as L finishes the potion.]
That should help give you some of your strength back, provided you stop slicing yourself open to drain yourself of it.
[Yeah... that's going to keep happening, isn't it?]
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With an alternative, I won't have to.
[But any proposed alternative couldn't possibly be infinite, and therein lies the problem. There's no way supply can rival his obsessive ambition.]
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Well, when these runes are done, hopefully you won't need so much blood.
[Content with L having finished the potion, he starts to head for the door again.]
If you find that potion helps, I'll bring you another one.
[It should help. It's from a reputable store.]
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[With L's ambitions and devotion to methods that work, it's likely that his need will only increase. If his projects get smaller, they'll just grow more numerous.]
Connor? Thank you for thinking of my needs.