[He knows. He hates that he's smart enough to realize it when Myr points out he would have. He hates that he needs to pretend this weight isn't heavy, while being absolutely unwilling to let go of it.
He'd debated whether or not he should tell Myr about the incident at the party. Myr knew he was injured, surely; it was impossible for him not to notice that over their Bond, no matter how he might otherwise have been occupied that night. Maybe L had wanted to avoid the guilt he knew would manifest for both sides once it was mentioned; Myr, for not being there, and L, for managing to be a distressing distraction even many miles away.
"Something better" is too broad a spectrum, too infinite, to the point where it feels like it can't possibly be real. It's at least as imaginary as L's idealized Bond with Light, and maybe that's why he finds himself able to interact with the idea, respond to it a though it could happen, and he and Light aren't just two vicious, violent creatures that deserve to tear each other apart eternally.
Besides, Myr has looked unhappy for too long. L could stand to heap a few less burdens on a mind overloaded, already.]
What else would you call what I've been working to build with him? We have a Bond, and a business, and a household. We work and eat and play alongside one another.
[Even when the pieces scatter, and he doesn't want to lose any of it. But "better" is vague and broad. It could mean a wide swathe of things. It could mean Myr leaving this cottage feeling like he's not Bonded to something weak, and needy, and insistently self-destructive, to the point where even passively caring for it is overtaxing, guaranteed pain.
If the best L can do is seem like he's at least worth wasting that care and concern on, he must, and he is worth it, isn't he? Myr needs him, he reminds himself. Myr relies on his runes, his divination, his experience as a detective, and Myr's trusting, kind heart would surely be no match for Jin Guangyao's cunning without those things.]
I have a plan, you know. A design, and... I meant it, when I said you didn't have to come over.
[He wishes now that he'd insisted otherwise. Did Light respond? Will he be angry? What is happening that he can't see while his watch is stowed away?]
Unless... if you're here for my help, I'll always make time for that. You're a good friend to me...
[The word that feels most appropriate, in the niche L has chiseled out for himself. It's the one that won't disappoint Myr, or leave his Bonded witch aching.
He sits forward, Crookytail snorting in disgruntlement as she's nearly dislodged. He pushes his hand toward Myr's face with a desperate kind of energy in spite of the overall sluggishness of his movements. He begins to divine immediately, brazenly, without any of the safeguards or preparations that are typical for his attempts.]
no subject
He'd debated whether or not he should tell Myr about the incident at the party. Myr knew he was injured, surely; it was impossible for him not to notice that over their Bond, no matter how he might otherwise have been occupied that night. Maybe L had wanted to avoid the guilt he knew would manifest for both sides once it was mentioned; Myr, for not being there, and L, for managing to be a distressing distraction even many miles away.
"Something better" is too broad a spectrum, too infinite, to the point where it feels like it can't possibly be real. It's at least as imaginary as L's idealized Bond with Light, and maybe that's why he finds himself able to interact with the idea, respond to it a though it could happen, and he and Light aren't just two vicious, violent creatures that deserve to tear each other apart eternally.
Besides, Myr has looked unhappy for too long. L could stand to heap a few less burdens on a mind overloaded, already.]
What else would you call what I've been working to build with him? We have a Bond, and a business, and a household. We work and eat and play alongside one another.
[Even when the pieces scatter, and he doesn't want to lose any of it. But "better" is vague and broad. It could mean a wide swathe of things. It could mean Myr leaving this cottage feeling like he's not Bonded to something weak, and needy, and insistently self-destructive, to the point where even passively caring for it is overtaxing, guaranteed pain.
If the best L can do is seem like he's at least worth wasting that care and concern on, he must, and he is worth it, isn't he? Myr needs him, he reminds himself. Myr relies on his runes, his divination, his experience as a detective, and Myr's trusting, kind heart would surely be no match for Jin Guangyao's cunning without those things.]
I have a plan, you know. A design, and... I meant it, when I said you didn't have to come over.
[He wishes now that he'd insisted otherwise. Did Light respond? Will he be angry? What is happening that he can't see while his watch is stowed away?]
Unless... if you're here for my help, I'll always make time for that. You're a good friend to me...
[The word that feels most appropriate, in the niche L has chiseled out for himself. It's the one that won't disappoint Myr, or leave his Bonded witch aching.
He sits forward, Crookytail snorting in disgruntlement as she's nearly dislodged. He pushes his hand toward Myr's face with a desperate kind of energy in spite of the overall sluggishness of his movements. He begins to divine immediately, brazenly, without any of the safeguards or preparations that are typical for his attempts.]
I said I'd help you. I'm going to make it better.