And also one of the hardest, most gutting things Myr has had to hear: You were not enough.
It is a reality that's stalked him for months but a realization he's only really inhabited since Niles' day-old revelation of L's double life. He wasn't enough: A sheltered home, a listening heart, a safe harbor weren't sufficient to repair what was amiss with the detective and never had been, for all the progress they had made.
(How much of that progress was real? He remembers clearly when L had turned a corner in his recovery, not so long after their shared dream. Had he found Niles then? Was that what had mattered most?)
Necessary, but not sufficient.
And Myr had known as much, too; he had said as much to L, had pointed to the wound in his Bonded that could only be redressed through justice rendered to the one L had injured. But Niles' attack had come so swift after--had not been justice--and the Chimera's apparent death had aborted the very idea of restitution being made.
(Now the fog's gone and all he wants to do is give up and weep again, until some other more responsible person comes to take this from his arms once more.)
Maker, forgive me. You gave me this task and in forgetting You I lost my way. ]
What do you believe we should do about this?
[Not I. Not you. Still we, though it's a heavy word to bear for all it's so small.]
no subject
And also one of the hardest, most gutting things Myr has had to hear: You were not enough.
It is a reality that's stalked him for months but a realization he's only really inhabited since Niles' day-old revelation of L's double life. He wasn't enough: A sheltered home, a listening heart, a safe harbor weren't sufficient to repair what was amiss with the detective and never had been, for all the progress they had made.
(How much of that progress was real? He remembers clearly when L had turned a corner in his recovery, not so long after their shared dream. Had he found Niles then? Was that what had mattered most?)
Necessary, but not sufficient.
And Myr had known as much, too; he had said as much to L, had pointed to the wound in his Bonded that could only be redressed through justice rendered to the one L had injured. But Niles' attack had come so swift after--had not been justice--and the Chimera's apparent death had aborted the very idea of restitution being made.
(Now the fog's gone and all he wants to do is give up and weep again, until some other more responsible person comes to take this from his arms once more.)
Maker, forgive me. You gave me this task and in forgetting You I lost my way. ]
What do you believe we should do about this?
[Not I. Not you. Still we, though it's a heavy word to bear for all it's so small.]