[L was born and raised neglected in so many crucial ways. Even later, when he was fed, and clothed, and put up in the best hotels money could buy, he was touch and contact-starved to the point where it still takes his breath away to feel firm and gentle arms around him. It makes him aware of his angular bones as they're pushed toward each other, the way his lanky body contrasts with Myr's sturdier and stronger one even before taking the acquired Faun features into consideration. He's always a little anxious in such embraces, while wishing they'd last a little longer every single time... but he's aware of the danger, too, knowing that actually getting as much of his Bond as he wants would keep him hungry every moment Myr wasn't there, make him grow to resent absence instead of feeling grateful for the hours he's graced with.
If he had whole hands, he might offer a returning caress, thread fingers through Myr's hair, clasp them behind his neck or at the small of his back. As it is, he just turns so that the side of his face can rest against Myr's chest, and he can listen to his Bond's heart beating.
He's not well, and it's not Myr's fault. He wants to lie so badly to let him leave tonight with a clear conscience and a festive mood to match bright and cheery surroundings. He could; he's at peace with the decision, and to a gentle heart, vicarious peace can feel like a lot of good things.
He surprises himself, again, with actual honesty.]
I don't know.
I'm sure if you revel enthusiastically enough, I'll have enough on my mind not to navel-gaze too self-indulgently.
no subject
If he had whole hands, he might offer a returning caress, thread fingers through Myr's hair, clasp them behind his neck or at the small of his back. As it is, he just turns so that the side of his face can rest against Myr's chest, and he can listen to his Bond's heart beating.
He's not well, and it's not Myr's fault. He wants to lie so badly to let him leave tonight with a clear conscience and a festive mood to match bright and cheery surroundings. He could; he's at peace with the decision, and to a gentle heart, vicarious peace can feel like a lot of good things.
He surprises himself, again, with actual honesty.]
I don't know.
I'm sure if you revel enthusiastically enough, I'll have enough on my mind not to navel-gaze too self-indulgently.