[Myr's rebuke is sharp and instant as the unsheathing of a sword; the anger that ripples and flares along their Bond likewise. For as much as he wants, achingly, to speak of none of this in favor of holding his Bonded in close and wordless comfort--it will only delay the problem, only make it worse, if he defers to address it now.
Because the path he's chosen to walk at L's side is long, and full of reversals. There will be missteps, deliberate and not; there will be stumbles, and they will have no small consequences when his Bonded is both so brilliant and ruthless as L is. There will be future moments of disappointment, despair, and they may not survive them if L's first instinct is to respond to his own monstrousness with a dart toward the nearest ledge, lake, or furious Chimera.
They may not even survive the next two weeks, no matter what Myr chooses to do now, but above and beyond all else he must claw for some kind of hope in the situation. He must act as if they will. And so he moves only far enough from his Bonded that they can stand face to face; he lifts his chin, even if he's off-angle, even if he can't meet L's gaze, he will act as if and let it carry him.]
You will not, [he repeats, more softly.] Because your death would be a shameful, awful waste with neither justice nor redemption in it.
[In no small part because you will take half my heart with you, should you die.]
What you did to Niles was indefensible. [The words are blunt. The emotion behind them is not crushing disappointment nor horror; it is not acceptance, either, but a quiet rejection of the act without turning aside the man who did it. It was not good you did this. I don't like it. But I love you no less.] You wounded yourself as much as him with it and you believe yourself unrecoverable.
You are not. Do you understand? You are not past redeeming, but destroying yourself for your sins isn't penance, any more than what you let Mello do to you.
[A breath, then, and his tone becomes more impassioned:] Nor what Niles will do to you. And if, [when,] he should get you from my side, do all you can to win free of him. Fight,amatus, for my sake if not your own.
You do not owe him this.
[Whatever else L owed--that ledger was far from balanced--he did not owe Niles his death or suffering; on that much Myr is adamant.]
no subject
[Myr's rebuke is sharp and instant as the unsheathing of a sword; the anger that ripples and flares along their Bond likewise. For as much as he wants, achingly, to speak of none of this in favor of holding his Bonded in close and wordless comfort--it will only delay the problem, only make it worse, if he defers to address it now.
Because the path he's chosen to walk at L's side is long, and full of reversals. There will be missteps, deliberate and not; there will be stumbles, and they will have no small consequences when his Bonded is both so brilliant and ruthless as L is. There will be future moments of disappointment, despair, and they may not survive them if L's first instinct is to respond to his own monstrousness with a dart toward the nearest ledge, lake, or furious Chimera.
They may not even survive the next two weeks, no matter what Myr chooses to do now, but above and beyond all else he must claw for some kind of hope in the situation. He must act as if they will. And so he moves only far enough from his Bonded that they can stand face to face; he lifts his chin, even if he's off-angle, even if he can't meet L's gaze, he will act as if and let it carry him.]
You will not, [he repeats, more softly.] Because your death would be a shameful, awful waste with neither justice nor redemption in it.
[In no small part because you will take half my heart with you, should you die.]
What you did to Niles was indefensible. [The words are blunt. The emotion behind them is not crushing disappointment nor horror; it is not acceptance, either, but a quiet rejection of the act without turning aside the man who did it. It was not good you did this. I don't like it. But I love you no less.] You wounded yourself as much as him with it and you believe yourself unrecoverable.
You are not. Do you understand? You are not past redeeming, but destroying yourself for your sins isn't penance, any more than what you let Mello do to you.
[A breath, then, and his tone becomes more impassioned:] Nor what Niles will do to you. And if, [when,] he should get you from my side, do all you can to win free of him. Fight, amatus, for my sake if not your own.
You do not owe him this.
[Whatever else L owed--that ledger was far from balanced--he did not owe Niles his death or suffering; on that much Myr is adamant.]