[Myr would not aspire to measure himself against his Bonded's powers of deduction where much of the world was concerned; L had been Made peerless in that realm. But where it came to matters of the heart and all the woes, large and little, that could weigh someone down--that was Myr's particular expertise. To say nothing of his advantage of distance, bound at the heart with L but out from under the most immediate and crushing of the detective's concerns.
It is not a distance necessarily well- or gladly chosen, but he will take what he can from it and make best use of what he's wrought here.
Hearing L draw near--near enough to feel body heat across the gap of air between them--Myr reaches cautiously forward, fingers outstretched and tentative. Even without sight he knows how far he must go to touch, how to stop just shy of doing that and let L complete the contact as he would. If that is not to be--and oh, it may not, from the ache that echoes between them--then at least he has left L the option. Even if everything in him cries out to grab his Bonded and drag them both away from the gibbet L sees looming inexorably in his future, he will leave the choice.]
I do not know, [he says, soft and low,] I could bear any better the thought of you going through this alone.
[Whether it be death, as L expects, or less-than--as Niles had promised--the very certainty of it in L's mind is shattering to bear. It tears down all Myr's hopes of eucatastrophe waiting at the end of this, all his illusions that he could protect his Bonded, if only he were quick and clever enough. If only he hadn't ruined himself for a knight-enchanter's work--
Except if he hadn't, he would not have been the man who took so instantly to someone who sounded like home the way it was before everything shattered. He would not have had empathy for the wounded heart that protected itself by lashing out vilely at others; he would not have known what it is to feel the Void dragging on his limbs at every step and long for any kind of finality to free him from it.
His own night would not have been black enough to see L's stars in it, and there is something woundingly sad in that thought.]
Even if we can't succeed in evading him forever, [because that's what this really is, isn't it? It's a war of attrition. Niles would not stop unless killed or pulled back through his mirror. And L hadn't the endurance for it, not burdened as he was by the weight of his own sins. Eventually, no matter how Myr warded him, he would make the mistake that got him caught.
Or he would lie down and wait, thinking himself deserving of that ending.] I wouldn't abandon you to this. Bonded or not, a part of me would die to lose you.
[Breath in, breath out.] I can endure that, to know you weren't alone. Anything less...
no subject
It is not a distance necessarily well- or gladly chosen, but he will take what he can from it and make best use of what he's wrought here.
Hearing L draw near--near enough to feel body heat across the gap of air between them--Myr reaches cautiously forward, fingers outstretched and tentative. Even without sight he knows how far he must go to touch, how to stop just shy of doing that and let L complete the contact as he would. If that is not to be--and oh, it may not, from the ache that echoes between them--then at least he has left L the option. Even if everything in him cries out to grab his Bonded and drag them both away from the gibbet L sees looming inexorably in his future, he will leave the choice.]
I do not know, [he says, soft and low,] I could bear any better the thought of you going through this alone.
[Whether it be death, as L expects, or less-than--as Niles had promised--the very certainty of it in L's mind is shattering to bear. It tears down all Myr's hopes of eucatastrophe waiting at the end of this, all his illusions that he could protect his Bonded, if only he were quick and clever enough. If only he hadn't ruined himself for a knight-enchanter's work--
Except if he hadn't, he would not have been the man who took so instantly to someone who sounded like home the way it was before everything shattered. He would not have had empathy for the wounded heart that protected itself by lashing out vilely at others; he would not have known what it is to feel the Void dragging on his limbs at every step and long for any kind of finality to free him from it.
His own night would not have been black enough to see L's stars in it, and there is something woundingly sad in that thought.]
Even if we can't succeed in evading him forever, [because that's what this really is, isn't it? It's a war of attrition. Niles would not stop unless killed or pulled back through his mirror. And L hadn't the endurance for it, not burdened as he was by the weight of his own sins. Eventually, no matter how Myr warded him, he would make the mistake that got him caught.
Or he would lie down and wait, thinking himself deserving of that ending.] I wouldn't abandon you to this. Bonded or not, a part of me would die to lose you.
[Breath in, breath out.] I can endure that, to know you weren't alone. Anything less...
[Would be easy, measured against that yardstick.]