[The fury's back in Myr's chest, bright and painful as a live coal--
And worse than the feeling that he's out of control of his own emotions is that he has nothing to direct it at. There are no valid targets here, not even (for once) himself. He aches to lay this all at Mello's feet, draw the line between ally and enemy to neatly exclude the younger man and recast him as scapegoat for all of this.
But there are L's tangled feelings, standing in the way of that. For once, Myr is the less-charitable one, and he can't get a damned ounce of use from it because he cannot push the situation into a shape that would let him simply act, directly and decisively and without guilt.
Even if he could, he suspects it would end between him and L much as things had when they'd gone after the SQUIP.
And Mello is no healer.
(Myr would sooner kill himself than let it come to that again.)]
You thought you knew. [It's oddly hard to breathe, when he feels like screaming instead.] But you were drunk. Drugged. Was that your choice?
no subject
And worse than the feeling that he's out of control of his own emotions is that he has nothing to direct it at. There are no valid targets here, not even (for once) himself. He aches to lay this all at Mello's feet, draw the line between ally and enemy to neatly exclude the younger man and recast him as scapegoat for all of this.
But there are L's tangled feelings, standing in the way of that. For once, Myr is the less-charitable one, and he can't get a damned ounce of use from it because he cannot push the situation into a shape that would let him simply act, directly and decisively and without guilt.
Even if he could, he suspects it would end between him and L much as things had when they'd gone after the SQUIP.
And Mello is no healer.
(Myr would sooner kill himself than let it come to that again.)]
You thought you knew. [It's oddly hard to breathe, when he feels like screaming instead.] But you were drunk. Drugged. Was that your choice?