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[If most of that didn't ring true, Mello would swear to himself and a non-present God that the hopelessness rolling from L's tongue was only the alcohol speaking. But that isn't the case, is it?]
[No. Because what are any of they without purpose? There's certainly none here. Not really.]
[Glazed eyes lock onto the orca long enough to ponder how it behaves in relation to L — Mello's own Phylax is such a vile thing.]
So you think you're my default, then.
[Accompanied by a chuckle. L thinks that he's the only real thing that exists to Mello in this world and something about that rings of hubris. A hubris Mello would admire under any other set of conditions, but now?]
You're wrong.
[Besides.]
I haven't come to talk about that.
[No. Because what are any of they without purpose? There's certainly none here. Not really.]
[Glazed eyes lock onto the orca long enough to ponder how it behaves in relation to L — Mello's own Phylax is such a vile thing.]
So you think you're my default, then.
[Accompanied by a chuckle. L thinks that he's the only real thing that exists to Mello in this world and something about that rings of hubris. A hubris Mello would admire under any other set of conditions, but now?]
You're wrong.
[Besides.]
I haven't come to talk about that.
You should!
[There's a sudden, childlike intensity to the declaration.]
You should pick a time of year you like the most, and feel the most alive, and choose a birthday. If you're going to value others', it would be hypocritical not to.
[There's a sudden, childlike intensity to the declaration.]
You should pick a time of year you like the most, and feel the most alive, and choose a birthday. If you're going to value others', it would be hypocritical not to.
[ His sudden enthusiasm was unexpected, and somehow rather touching. Whether she realized it or not, Linden had always seemed to advocate for her well being and happiness, something she didn’t have much of in life. And he was right, why couldn’t she have ine herself? ]
I’ll…I’ll think about it. Suddenly I can’t decide what my favorite time of year is.
[ It was exciting in a way that made her heart beat faster. To declare that a certain day was her day. ]
When I do decide on one…will you celebrate with me?
I’ll…I’ll think about it. Suddenly I can’t decide what my favorite time of year is.
[ It was exciting in a way that made her heart beat faster. To declare that a certain day was her day. ]
When I do decide on one…will you celebrate with me?
I'd like to be wrong... it would be refreshing, more than any of this. Also easier to believe if you hadn't stalked me to "find" me here.
[He lazily reaches for the remainder of his drink.]
It's not my point, though. Your anger doesn't just affect us. Don't be fooled by an uncommonly good ability to conceal pain.
[He lazily reaches for the remainder of his drink.]
It's not my point, though. Your anger doesn't just affect us. Don't be fooled by an uncommonly good ability to conceal pain.
[Squint.]
[L knows how they all operate. Of course Mello would find his location if he wanted a meeting. This is gaslighting at its finest, and he's not going to bite. Not now, anyway.]
Yeah?
[And now he's drained the glass. And fully intends to order another. Tomorrow's bound to be shit. He positions himself closer to L, lowers his voice because accusations are never taken lightly. No matter where they come from.]
And who else is it affecting?
[As he signals for the bartender.]
Yagami?
[L knows how they all operate. Of course Mello would find his location if he wanted a meeting. This is gaslighting at its finest, and he's not going to bite. Not now, anyway.]
Yeah?
[And now he's drained the glass. And fully intends to order another. Tomorrow's bound to be shit. He positions himself closer to L, lowers his voice because accusations are never taken lightly. No matter where they come from.]
And who else is it affecting?
[As he signals for the bartender.]
Yagami?
[The bartender glances over, drying a glass as he approaches with his brows raised. L mumbles his answer before he arrives.]
Yagami's not your concern anymore. I'm talking about the woman you hurt, who you want to help and own. Even drinking, and wandering... I don't stray far from the topic at hand. That's what you came to discuss, isn't it? Alex, and us.
[Focus up, he doesn't say out loud, but the implication is in his tone. He quickly places another drink order; at this point, beer would be reckless.
He does not order beer.]
Yagami's not your concern anymore. I'm talking about the woman you hurt, who you want to help and own. Even drinking, and wandering... I don't stray far from the topic at hand. That's what you came to discuss, isn't it? Alex, and us.
[Focus up, he doesn't say out loud, but the implication is in his tone. He quickly places another drink order; at this point, beer would be reckless.
He does not order beer.]
You don't have to decide immediately. But... yes, of course I will.
[In the moment, he can promise as much. The complications that might arise also don't have to be considered, immediately. All the things that can happen between now and then are infinite and intimidating, but this, at least, is nice.]
[In the moment, he can promise as much. The complications that might arise also don't have to be considered, immediately. All the things that can happen between now and then are infinite and intimidating, but this, at least, is nice.]
[ It’s such a simple statement, something she wouldn’t even really hold him to, but just the thought bubbles warmly in her chest. ]
I’m really glad you’re here, Linden.
I’m really glad you’re here, Linden.
Yeah? I am, as well.
[Today at least. It does vary, at times, but she's so kind.]
The feeling is reciprocal, of course. I hope that's always clear.
[He's not the best at communicating feelings, after all. He's often misunderstood.]
[Today at least. It does vary, at times, but she's so kind.]
The feeling is reciprocal, of course. I hope that's always clear.
[He's not the best at communicating feelings, after all. He's often misunderstood.]
[Mello stills as though a knife had just been shoved into his spine; L knows him all too well despite their distance.]
[Profiling is all it is, he tells himself. L is profiling him like a fucking criminal. He orders another, the same, and regards L with wary eyes before he speaks. This isn't the man he would've fallen to his knees for; this is a man who holds him in great contempt. Whether or not that can be repaired seems grim, but Mello's never been one to give up so easily.]
Both, [He responds with an air to his words. He's always been quite the actor.]
I'd prefer to begin with us. [Squint.]
Since we're here.
[Profiling is all it is, he tells himself. L is profiling him like a fucking criminal. He orders another, the same, and regards L with wary eyes before he speaks. This isn't the man he would've fallen to his knees for; this is a man who holds him in great contempt. Whether or not that can be repaired seems grim, but Mello's never been one to give up so easily.]
Both, [He responds with an air to his words. He's always been quite the actor.]
I'd prefer to begin with us. [Squint.]
Since we're here.
Edited 2021-10-28 04:41 (UTC)
[ Even if it was clear, it made her happy to be told this directly. ]
Do you um…need help with anything today?
[ Meaning, can she tag along?]
Do you um…need help with anything today?
[ Meaning, can she tag along?]
That's fine.
[The bartender seems reluctant, but goes for the glass of something dark and strong that he requested.]
I suppose it all depends on what you want...
[For me; from me.]
Are you looking for peace or a victory?
[The bartender seems reluctant, but goes for the glass of something dark and strong that he requested.]
I suppose it all depends on what you want...
[For me; from me.]
Are you looking for peace or a victory?
At the agency?
[He sounds surprised.]
A few errands, maybe. Are you sure you have nothing better to do?
[He sounds surprised.]
A few errands, maybe. Are you sure you have nothing better to do?
[And oh, that ruffles his feathers. To think that L would assume Mello is so simple, for him to throw what he knows away — ]
Neither.
[The short answer as his drink is slid to him. He catches it with his right hand, immediately raising the glass for a sip.]
[Does his mentor think him so without complications? Disappointing, really.]
I know that I hurt you.
[As he worries his bottom lip with the edges of his teeth.]
I know that you can kill me if you want to.
[And now, he stares.]
You won't give me details, and I'm not gonna beat a dead horse, but —
Why didn't you stop me?
Neither.
[The short answer as his drink is slid to him. He catches it with his right hand, immediately raising the glass for a sip.]
[Does his mentor think him so without complications? Disappointing, really.]
I know that I hurt you.
[As he worries his bottom lip with the edges of his teeth.]
I know that you can kill me if you want to.
[And now, he stares.]
You won't give me details, and I'm not gonna beat a dead horse, but —
Why didn't you stop me?
Edited 2021-10-28 05:01 (UTC)
Yeah, I’d really like that.
[ It’s been a while since she’d done that kind of work, a part of her missing it and the people she had worked with. Alex was certain she’d like it just as much with Linden. ]
I’m pretty good with following direction!
[ It’s been a while since she’d done that kind of work, a part of her missing it and the people she had worked with. Alex was certain she’d like it just as much with Linden. ]
I’m pretty good with following direction!
[L's brows raise at Mello's answer. Of course the other man wouldn't want to be thought simple; of course there must be more, even if there isn't. Not fundamentally, or truly.
They can dress it in trappings, if he wants. L can indulge.
The bartender doesn't slide L's glass to him. He sets it down carefully, as though in front of something wild that could startle at a loud sound.]
I wanted to see what you would do with an opportunity. The point of it all was that I wouldn't stop you, no matter what happened... to see what you believed I was giving to others, that you were also entitled to.
[He turns his glass in his hands. He doesn't raise it to his lips yet, because this drink is the bullet that will finish this night in a tumbling blackout. He knows his own tolerance well enough to be aware.]
They can dress it in trappings, if he wants. L can indulge.
The bartender doesn't slide L's glass to him. He sets it down carefully, as though in front of something wild that could startle at a loud sound.]
I wanted to see what you would do with an opportunity. The point of it all was that I wouldn't stop you, no matter what happened... to see what you believed I was giving to others, that you were also entitled to.
[He turns his glass in his hands. He doesn't raise it to his lips yet, because this drink is the bullet that will finish this night in a tumbling blackout. He knows his own tolerance well enough to be aware.]
[He laughs lightly, a little sadly. That's par for the course with L, in fairness; his reactions are typically tinged with a bit of melancholy, even when he's glad.]
Make sure you fill out a time card and punch in, OK? It goes without saying that you're not going to be working for free.
Make sure you fill out a time card and punch in, OK? It goes without saying that you're not going to be working for free.
[ Tsk. Nothing gets past this guy.
She might be making a bit of a face. ]
Alriiiight, I will.
She might be making a bit of a face. ]
Alriiiight, I will.
[No. Not good enough. L is still speaking cryptically about The Incident that Mello can't remember at all and it's so fucking frustrating.]
[He takes a swig because he wants to, doesn't break his eyes from the other man.]
And I took that opportunity, I assume.] A shift of his legs. Mello both isn't read for and wants the truth. Is L capable of telling it?]
I know that already. So what —
[A breath. Three.]
You wanted to see if I'd hurt you and I did? And you knew I would. Was that your endgame?
[You didn't want it at all?]
[He takes a swig because he wants to, doesn't break his eyes from the other man.]
And I took that opportunity, I assume.] A shift of his legs. Mello both isn't read for and wants the truth. Is L capable of telling it?]
I know that already. So what —
[A breath. Three.]
You wanted to see if I'd hurt you and I did? And you knew I would. Was that your endgame?
[You didn't want it at all?]
You did.
[L's answer is crisp, soft and even. He keeps turning his glass in his fingers.]
It was my mistake, to be clear. I thought, incorrectly, that it would help both of us to give you what you wanted and make our Bond healthier. It turns out it wasn't what either of us wanted... and it definitely didn't help us.
[L's answer is crisp, soft and even. He keeps turning his glass in his fingers.]
It was my mistake, to be clear. I thought, incorrectly, that it would help both of us to give you what you wanted and make our Bond healthier. It turns out it wasn't what either of us wanted... and it definitely didn't help us.
[And L always manages to make Mello nothing more than a child at his feet. Putting the fact aside that he can't imagine being so intimate with someone he held in such high esteem, it's even more difficult to believe that L obliged.]
[Were they that bad-off? Was it a last-ditch salvage effort? Mello knows he's one to press, but with L — ]
[The liquor is warm and sweet against his tongue. He lets it sit for a moment before swallowing. Really, there's no proper response.]
And now you're afraid of me.
[Me. Who would've burned the world for you.]
[It's insulting, at best.]
[He finally does shift his eyes away, letting them linger on mundane things. The bartender, the backsplash on the wall, the grains of wood beneath his arm.]
Suppose it's not worth fixing, yea
[Were they that bad-off? Was it a last-ditch salvage effort? Mello knows he's one to press, but with L — ]
[The liquor is warm and sweet against his tongue. He lets it sit for a moment before swallowing. Really, there's no proper response.]
And now you're afraid of me.
[Me. Who would've burned the world for you.]
[It's insulting, at best.]
[He finally does shift his eyes away, letting them linger on mundane things. The bartender, the backsplash on the wall, the grains of wood beneath his arm.]
Suppose it's not worth fixing, yea
[He speaks patiently, nearly pedantically.]
It all depends on what you want. You've specified that it's neither peace or a victory. Whatever that leaves is powerful enough that you came here to confront me, no?
It all depends on what you want. You've specified that it's neither peace or a victory. Whatever that leaves is powerful enough that you came here to confront me, no?
I didn't come here for conflict.
[And that's a fucking lie. It shows in Mello's eyes, the way he shifts his shoulders.]
I'm here for information. And advice.
[If L can manage to find himself in the position of Mentor with Mello ever again.]
[And that's a fucking lie. It shows in Mello's eyes, the way he shifts his shoulders.]
I'm here for information. And advice.
[If L can manage to find himself in the position of Mentor with Mello ever again.]
[One thing holds true after too much time and myriad changes and personal reflections. Surprising L is a surefire way to keep his attention and his interest, and even to tap into his more charitable side. Whatever he expected Mello to say, it wasn't that. Information, perhaps, he could have predicted... but advice?
He doesn't laugh, to his credit. Pale and bewildered, his glass stills in his fingers, and he hasn't yet taken a sip of his relative sobriety's death.]
OK...
[Wary acceptance, but acceptance, all the same. An invitation to say and ask for more.]
He doesn't laugh, to his credit. Pale and bewildered, his glass stills in his fingers, and he hasn't yet taken a sip of his relative sobriety's death.]
OK...
[Wary acceptance, but acceptance, all the same. An invitation to say and ask for more.]
[And L is doing that stoic thing that he does: widened pupils and acceptance. Mello remembers it all too well. He remembers when it bewildered him as a kid; he remembers how it pushed him forward as a teenager.]
We've got a place together. It's ...different.
[Why should it matter at all?]
I don't like this commitment shit, yea. But she wants to be with me. But she wants to fuck you.
[As far as Mello knows.]
I don't know if I should walk. I can always find another monster bond.
We've got a place together. It's ...different.
[Why should it matter at all?]
I don't like this commitment shit, yea. But she wants to be with me. But she wants to fuck you.
[As far as Mello knows.]
I don't know if I should walk. I can always find another monster bond.
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